Go Home, Robot. Go Home.

All right, I’ll just come out and say it: I don’t trust robots. Never have; never will. They’re too shifty for me. See, I’m more inclined to believe the episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, where Data goes all ape shit on the crew, before the episodes where he saves the day. I am a firm believer that the Borg not only exist, but that they are currently on their way to assimilate Earth, right now as we speak.

This is why we, as Humans, can never be too safe. We need to safeguard our Human things- our breathing, our procreation, and our feelings. We must initiate routine and constant public robot round-ups, as well as to continue to exclude them from our country clubs and golf courses. (I’ve never played golf with a robot that didn’t cheat- and I know you haven’t either!)

Yes, of course I blindly call for the deactivation of all robots. We don’t need their kind of filthy smut in this world. The only kind of filthy smut we need is Human filthy smut; and I already have enough of that in tow. (connected closely to that point, is the reason why I will never be allowed back into the Greeley Cinemak 12 in Greeley, Colorado. But that, of course, is a story for another time…)

Am I hate monger? I like to think not. For I love many things- mainly Human things or Human related things. But I know that in the end, I am right, and you, with your radical ways, don’t have the courage to stop me.