Roomba Love

Are vacuums a threat to mankind?

Maybe before you start your nay saying, you should look at the facts. Take into account the moderate success of the Roomba Vacuuming Robot. Sure, it’s wicked cool. And yeah, of all the working class robots on the current market, it is, without question, the cutest. So, might it also be possible then, that this awesomely cute little robot is just a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode out into a rampaging, bloodthirsty, human killing-machine?

Do you really want to wait around to find out?

If these little robot vacuums are really as “intelligent” as their website boasts, then it’s only a matter of time before they start communicating with one another, and then mingling at exclusive robot only social clubs. If there’s one thing that Karel Capek’s horrifying robot drama, “R.U.R.” taught me, it’s that when two robots meet they will immediately fall in love and procreate, making robot babies.

That’s right. Robot babies. Robot babies that feed upon the flesh of chubby and unsuspecting human toddlers!

A horrific picture of a grim future.

That is why, of course, they all must be destroyed. And now that you know your task, do not return until they are all dead. I will be watching.